to the 1st one who knew

there are times when you just want to sit and cry, even bawl your eyes out.times when you want to be numb, to stop the pain you're feeling.times when you feel weak and powerless against everything happening around you.to you and to the people you most care about.times when you feel you can't take it anymore.times when you want to give up and leave everything to fate.

although we aren't in the same situation, i can see that yours is much more complicated, i know how frustrating it can be...trying to stop yourself from going mad.i can feel what you're feeling.even if only a part of it.

i've never properly thanked you for everything.for the friendship, the advice, the lessons, the laughs.for not giving up on me when i refused to open my eyes to reality.for keeping me company through the fun times and for sharing in my pains and sorrows.i really dont know what i would have done without you.

i cannot offer you much in return.all i have to offer is this:

whatever happens, to both of us, whether all goes well or not, you have someone to fall back to.just like that game of trust so commonly played during orientations.some people "pretend-fall" in fear of not being caught by the person behind them.but you need not fear anything.no matter what, im gonna catch you.

i cannot promise to be there for you all the time, but i can assure you, when you do fall, i wont let you fall into the cement down below.