because i cant sleep

how can everything come flooding back just by the mere memory of it?

to my unconscious:

be a good unconscious mind and do your work now. repress everything bad and hurtful. HEY, i have a question for you.. why didn't you repress stalker?? WASN'T IT TRAUMATIC ENOUGH FOR YOU?!!!! where'd all my defense mechanisms go that time???

*****

some memories are just too hard to get rid of. while the ones you want to remember, u forget in a matter of seconds.

btw, i am NOT, i repeat, i am NOT going insane. is it too hard to ask to forget a few details and a few people in my life?

and you, how can you talk as if you've been together? no, stop! i dont want to hear it. if you want justify urself, do so to the right person, not to me. you are like glue.. and to you, this will not make sense. just like it won't to anybody else. except for one. too bad, it's not you.

*****

you are everything i never want to be. though i have the potential to be,like you. but i WON'T, and i CAN'T!!!! the minute i do, im gona jump out that broken window in Bel 312.

*****

hay.. Jess, sometimes i think you want to push me over the edge. but not to worry, im sure You will catch me. as always, silently shouting out my commitment, BIL, BIJ.