live my life for me

i got to talk to a friend yesterday ata or the other day. and wala lang, napaisip lng ako.

since i decided i'd go to med school, i knew there'd be a day i'd be too scared i'd doubt my decision. and today is it.

i haven't taken the nmat yet and i actually don't want to think about it. everyone's saying it's just a formality. well, maybe it is. but even if it's just that, even if it doesn't really have any bearing on which med school accepts me, i still want to do well in it. just because it's the 1st step i'm taking towards the medical world.

if it was all up to want, i'd be a guaranteed doctor by now. and i know i won't fall short when it comes to determination. but a few years ago, i learned that intelligence is determined by the number of capital letters in your genes. i'd go as far as saying i have a fair amount of capital letters here and there. i'm not dumb. i know there are no dumb people. i really believe that. but there are definitely people who just aren't smart enough. what if..?