im 19 :D

nearing midnight, messages from friends family, bombard my cellphone. all with the same greeting. "happy birthday!" some were as simple and plain as that and some had a few personal messages. and there were some that literally got the message across. calling at 12 in the morning to make me the happiest person alive. :D i went to sleep with a big smile on my face.

i was awoken by a call from a friend, who, i know, forgot it was my birthday. :p (haha!!!okay lang. :P wg ka mgalala, love prin kta. ;P) we talked for a while then she had to go. as i put the phone down, i realize, im 19. a whole year older than before. im once again, amazed, at how fast time flies. it seemed only a few months ago that i had my debut. the gown, the candles, the roses, the moment. thousands of memories, both good and bad, have been engraved in my mind since i turned 18. my graduation, the JANS tree, my summer "escapade", meeting new people in college, meeting my friends now (samboy, kate, ven, sarah, reese, yumi), meeting you, falling in-like and falling in-love, experiencing lots of new stuff with my friends, experiencing lots of new stuff with you, learning new words, riding a trike, discovering "hidden" places in ateneo - these are the best yet. hundreds of emotions have been felt, some still being felt. frustration, happiness, desperation, sadness, loss, excitement, appreciation, love - the extreme.

to everyone who made my 19 years so wonderful, thank you. to everyone who was with me and still is with me, thank you. to my highschool friends, for sticking with me and for keeping in touch, thank you. to my friends now, for accepting me for who i am, thank you.

and to you. for being so so so sooo patient with me, thank you. for opening up to me, thank you. for trusting me, thank you. for not giving up, thank you. for giving me the chance to prove myself, thank you. for believing in me so much, thank you. for everything you've taught me and given me, thank you. for being there everytime i need you, thank you. for being so sweet and mature about everything, thank you. for loving me, inspite and despite of, thank you. for allowing me to love you, thank you. and for making this the best birthday ever. i love you.

Exactly

"I will never be truly Filipino nor truly Chinese because i am and have to be both. My fused identity has given me more breadth as a human being and has opened my eyes to the ugliness of bigotry, hatred and a perverted sense of loyalty.
I am Filipino, I am Chinese; beyond the almond eyes and pale skin, I don't dissect which part of me is which."
- from Fractured Thoughts of Alessandra G.L. Gonzales

3 Little Trees

Once upon a mountain top, three little trees stood and dreamed of what they wanted to become when they grew up. The first little tree looked up at the stars and said: " I want to hold treasure. I want to be covered with gold and filled with precious stones. I'll be the most beautiful treasure chest in the world!" The second little tree looked out at the small stream trickling by on it's way to the ocean. " I want to be traveling mighty waters and caring powerful kings. I'll be the strongest ship in the world! The third little tree looked down into the valley below where busy men and women worked in a busy town. I don't want to leave the mountain top at all. I want to grow so tall that when people stop to look at me they'll raise their eyes to heaven and think of God. I will be the tallest tree in the world.

Years, passed. The rain came, the sun shone and the little trees grew tall. One day three wood cutters climbed the mountain. The first wood cutter looked at the first tree and said, "This tree is beautiful. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shinning ax, the first tree fell. "Now I shall make a beautiful chest, I shall hold wonderful treasure!" the first tree said.
The second wood cutter looked at the second tree and said, "This tree is strong. It's perfect for me." With a swoop of his shinning ax, the second tree fell. "Now I shall sail mighty waters!" thought the second tree. " I shall be a strong ship for mighty kings!"
The third tree felt her heart sink when the last wood cutter looked her way. She stood straight and tall and pointed bravely to heaven. But the wood cutter never even looked up. "Any kind of tree will do for me." He muttered. With a swoop of his shinning ax, the third tree fell.

The fist tree rejoiced when the wood cutter brought her to a carpenter's shop. But the carpenter fashioned the tree into a feed box for animals. The once beautiful tree was not covered with gold, or treasure. She was coated with saw dust and filled with hay for hungry farm animals. The second tree smiled when the wood cutter took her to a shipyard, but no mighty sailing ship was made that day. Instead the one strong tree was hammered and awed into a simple fishing boat. She was too small and too weak to sail to an ocean, or even a river, instead she was taken to a little lake. The third tree was confused when the wood cutter cut her into strong beams and left her in a lumberyard. "What happened?" The once tall tree wondered. " All I ever wanted was to stay on the mountain top and point to God..."

Many days and nights passed. The three trees nearly forgot their dreams. But one night, golden starlight poured over the first tree as a young woman placed her newborn baby in the feed box. "I wish I cold make a cradle for him." Her husband whispered. The mother squeezed his hand and smiled as the starlight shone on the smooth and sturdy wood. " This manger is beautiful." She said. And suddenly the first tree knew he was holding the greatest treasure in the world.

One evening a tired traveler and his friends crowded into the old fishing boat. The traveler fell asleep as the second tree quietly sailed out into the lake. Soon a thundering and a thrashing storm arose. The little tree shuddered. She new she did not have the strength to carry so many passengers safely through the wind and the rain. The tired man awoke. He stood up, stretched out his hand, and said, "Peace." The storm stopped as quickly as it had begun. And suddenly the second tree knew he was carrying the king of heaven and earth.

One Friday morning, the third tree was startled when her beams were yanked from the forgotten wood pile. She flinched as she was carried through and angry jeering crowd. She shuddered when soldiers nailed a man's hand to her. She felt ugly and harsh and cruel. But on Sunday morning, when the sun rose and the earth trembled with joy beneath her, the third tree knew that God's love had changed everything. It had made the third tree strong. And every time people thought of the third tree, they would think of God. That was better than being the

tallest tree in the world.

i was just surfing the net with nothing to do when i came across this.my favorite story. :D

Forever -Westlife

I'll be loving you forever

Deep inside my heart you'll leave me never

Even if you took my heart and tore it apart

I would love you still, forever

You are the sun

You are my life

And you're the last thing on my mind

Before I go to sleep at night

You're always round

When I'm in need

When troubles on my mind

You put my soul at ease

There is no one in this world

Who could love me like you do

That is the reason that

I wanna spend forever with you

I'll be loving you forever

Deep inside my heart you'll leave me never

Even if you took my heart and tore it apart

I would love you still, forever

We've had our fun

And we've made mistakes

But who'd have guessed along the road

We'd learn to give and take

It's so much more

Than I could have dreamed

Cause you make loving you
So easy for me

There is no one in this world

Who could love me like you do

That is the reason that

I wanna spend forever with you

I"ll be loving you forever

(forever)

Deep inside my heart you'll leave me never

(you never leave, no)

Even if you took my heart

(took my heart)

And tore it apart

(and tore it apart girl)

I would love you still, forever

And girl I pray you'll leave me never

Cos this is the world where lovers

Often go astray

But if we love each other

We won't go that way

So put your doubts aside

Do what it takes to make it right

Cos I love you forever

No one can tear us apart

I'll be loving you forever

(forever)

Deep inside my heart you'll leave me never

Even if you took my heart

(took my heart, girl)

And tore it apart

(and tore it apart, now)

I would love you still, forever

(forever)

this time, it's for me.

tears...

go ahead, cry if u want to...noone's stopping u.

crying doesnt mean u're weak.it doesnt mean u're succumbing to the waves that are crashing against you.

give in to the urge...let go..release..

yes, it does show vulnerability.but its okay to be vulnerable sometimes...cause then, its when you're at your most vulnerable that the one who cares enough to protect you and care for you will step up and do so.

just let it flow.like a stream of water, let it flow.if only to relieve you of this sadness.

happy hearts!!! :D

this has been by far, my best valentines. :D EVER! :D

i spent the whole day with my blockmates...in glorietta. :D we watched a movie, bought a few stuff and just walked around.we didn't do anything out of the ordinary really. :D

no fancy dinners, no "haranas" or anything of the like, no flowers or stuffed toys being given out.it was just me, you and our friends.

it actually seemed like an ordinary day.keyword being "seemed".

but YOU being there, me getting to spend the whole day with YOU definitely made everything PERFECT.

no, wrong word...come to think of it...there's no word for it...

today was more than perfect.it has surpassed perfection by a million huge leaps.it has surpassed perfection as the world sees it and describes it.

I LOVE YOU.

by the way, thanks for the "fishie" you made for "yourself". :p

*****

kate, ito na ung special mention mo.haha! :p

thanx for walking along katipunan with me.i know you had to brave the heat of the sun and fight the overwhelming urge to just go home.ok lng.may popcorn and coffee crunch ka naman. :p haha!

like u said, "alam mo namang handa akong tulungan ka, lalo na kung tungkol sa pag-ibig".

again, thank you. :D

u can cry if u want to

tears...

go ahead, cry if u want to...noone's stopping u.

crying doesnt mean u're weak.it doesnt mean u're succumbing to the waves that are crashing against you.

give in to the urge...let go..release..

yes, it does show vulnerability.but its okay to be vulnerable sometimes...cause then, its when you're at your most vulnerable that the one who cares enough to protect you and care for you will step up and do so.

just let it flow.like a stream of water, let it flow.if only to relieve you of this sadness.

hey..thanx :D

i was looking for something in my computer files when i found this.

:D

i found it amusing..this was exactly how i felt a few months ago...

until i found the one person who's starting to knock my walls down.brick by brick.thanx. >:D<

would you??

when you read this entry, it goes to show that yes, i have already read your post.

i dont know whether those "strange thoughts and emotions" are the ones i know about.if they are, then there's nothing more i could possibly say and do that i haven't said and done before.and if they aren't, you dont have to tell me.

i doubt i can do anything about them anyway.i can try, but i know my efforts will be in vain.these are your emotions, your thoughts, they will always come back to you.there are things that even assurance and certainty can't solve.things stronger than the words i say and the things i do.

you can give up and stop believing if you want.but doing so, doesn't require for me to do the same.

wheee!!!! :D

3 months. :D

3 months!!! :p

i cant quite put to words how happy i feel :D na 3 months...and it seems there's no stopping what we have. :p

but we have lots more stuff to go through and lots more stuff to argue about.there's no problem in that.kyang-kya ntin yan.dba???

haha!love you!!! :D