you did it again

i just read one of your messages *eerrr no, im not gonna post it here* and wla.yes, im at it again...smiling to myself...looking stupid...

in spite of all the funny glances and stares i get from people when they see me like this and the sudden bombardment of questions regarding my current mental state, im loving this blissfull moment.

a moment filled with absolutely nothing but thoughts of you.no frustrations, no loneliness, no doubts, no worries and best of all, no fears.just thoughts of you.you and everything about you.

and after that moment passes, i go back to wonderful reality.reality as i see it.

reality with you-beautiful and perfect.

you have again, gifted me with something no other mortal can give me.

my friends, many-even the greatest-have tried but failed to do what i have just done.

i have just flown to heaven and back in a matter of minutes.

The Greatest Story Ever Told

Thank you for this moment
I've gotta say how beautiful you are
Of all the hopes and dreams I could have prayed for
Here you are

If I could have one dance forever
I would take you by the hand
Tonight it's you and I together
I'm so glad
I'm your man

And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you tonight

I don't hear the music
When I'm looking in your eyes
But I feel the rhythm of your body
Close to mine

It's the way we touch, it soothes me
It's the way we'll always be
Your kiss, your pretty smile
You know i'd die for
Oh baby
You're all I need

And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you
Just how much I really need you
Did I tell you that I love you tonight
Tonight

And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
But if destiny decided I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you
Just how much I really need you
Did I tell you that I love you tonight

it's christmas eve...

it's 4 am...yes...i can't sleep...again.feeling ko, nccraan na ako thinking about stuff.the title is proof, d ko alam bakit yan ang nilagay kong title, wla nmang connect sa isusulat ko...wla lng..napansin ko lang kc na it's christmas eve...

para sa taong wala dito sa pilipinas:
tama ka, sakit ng ateneans ang pag-iisip, source nga ng heartache at kabag...haha...pro d ba un din ang reason kung bakit matatalino mga ateneans?...haha wg lng ako ang gawin mong example dahil ako'y isang dakilang tanga haha! -> at nagawa ko pang magyabang sa mga nangyayari ngayon...

at para sa inyong 2 lovebirds:
naalala nyo ung cnbi nyo sa akin?na mgtira ako para sa sarili ko?..dont worry, d ko pa binibigay lahat.eventually i will.pro hindi pa ito un, very far from it.

haha.nakalimutan nyo ata what i said before na ngayon lang ako nging this happy.oo na, rollercoaster.pro sabi ko nga dba?masaya sumakay ng rollercoaster.haha.both literally and figuratively.haha!!!am i even making any sense?!

*****

and you, yes, you.again, im sorry.prang wla na akong ginawa kung d ihurt ka.i dont want to make a hobby out of it.grabe, im really paying for my stupidity.

sleep tight and sweet dreams.talk to you in the morning, or rather, when i wake up in a few hours...

as always, i love you.

9 more days!!!

it's dec. 23, 2005....

9 more days till...JAN 1!!!! :D

9 more days till the new year and...the 2nd! :D

haha!naeexcited na ako! *jumps up and down*

*****

hey you, 2 months. :D 2 months and still counting...haha! :) anu ulit ung cnsabi natin a few days back?2 months to how many years? :) haha!!!

2 months - 2 times infinity days and nights

haha!oo na, wlang such thing as 2 times infinity :D just leave the equation alone...

forever can't be measured in numbers. >:D<

love you. :D

how stupid can i get?

i did it again.

is hurting people second nature to me?coz' it's as if no matter how hard i try, i still end up hurting someone.

You, of all people.

Kung sino pa ung taong pinaka ayokong saktan...

sorry.im really really sorry.

if you wont mind, im not gonna say anything anymore.sabi ko nga dti...i should just shut up.

nothing's changed though.at least for me.i still love you.now more than ever.

pasaway!instead of studying....

it's amazing how i have tons of stuff to do yet i still find time to take these blog quizzes and "learn more about myself".haha!

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. You give and take equally in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Sandalan - 6 Cycle Mind

Kanina pa kitang pinagmamasdan

Mukha mo'y di maipinta

Malungkot ka na naman
Kanina pa kitang inaalok

Nang kuwentuhang masaya

Parang sa'yo'y balewala

Sandali nga

Teka lang

May nakalimutan ka

Di ba't pwede mo kong iyakan

Sige lang

Sandal ka na

At wag mong pipigilan

Iiyak mo na ang lahat sa langit

Iiyak mo lang ang lahat sa akin

Andito lang ako naghihintay

Lagi mong tatandaan

Di ka naman nag-iisa
Andito lang ako makikinig sayo

Sa buong magdamag

Sa'kin di ka balewala

*looks up at the sky...its not raining* ...its the weather...

mood swings...this rarely happens to me...im happy one moment and sad, no, not sad, more of lonely the next...

nhhawa na ata ako sa people around me.everyone's been really emotional these days.ako?i have nothing to be emotional about...i think.

so why this melancholy feeling all of a sudden?

deep down, i know why.i just dont want to accept it.

its doubt.fear.confusion.guilt.pain....reality.

everything ive pushed aside and refused to think of...

im ok though. :) haha ang labo ko na.

its the rain

in the ctc computer lab...doing nothing....

c samboy inattack ng higad....ang kwawa nya...sbrang namumula ung kamay nya hanggang mukha....poor him....

*****

just read ur post...i dont know what 2 say...i knw i should just shut up....bear w/ me, i can be really really extremely stupid at times.

sorry about what happened.i wasnt really seriously thinking of doing that, u know.npaicip lng ako.pro i wouldnt ever.... *heavy sigh* its no use explaining.i cant even understand what im feeling that time, much less explain it to you.

im just gonna shut up and keep myself from doing anymore damage.

ill just keep on loving u,ok lng ba?

"the least offensive joke can break you"

here i go quoting you again.

im sorry for everything i ever said na nhurt kta or nsad ka and stuff.i didnt mean it to adversely affect u.im gonna be more careful from now on.promise.

i know a lot of stuff's happening to u.things that are...how do i say it?...unpleasant?haha.i understand u're emotionally tired of everything...being left behind, feeling alone, etc.

im also aware of the fact that any moment now, u can slip into depression and serious "emotional instability", as u put it.i cant stop what u're feeling, i can try and i am trying, though i know i wont succeed.

all i really want to say is, if u do get depressed and all that, its ok.i mean, the situation is definitely not ok, pro ok lng skin.i wont leave u alone dhil lng dn.i actually have no plans of leaving u ever.

im not really sure that everything can stay this way forever.pro im sure we can try.

YOU and ME against the world nga, dba?

thanks kate ;)

quotes never fail to make me smile.
here's one my friend sent me.

"Love doesn't mean this:
dapat ganito ka...dapat ganyan ka...o dapat ito gawin mo...
But this:
kahit ganito ka...kahit ganyan ka...o kahit ano ka pa...
mahal kita..."

and another one :)

"Just a thought:
love with all your heart and accept the unlovable side of others...
for anyone can love a rose, but only a great heart can include the thorns..."

can't sleep

it's past 1 am and still i cant sleep...these are the times when u just sit down and think to yourself...about anything...about life, about what's happening...

sorry for quoting you "love.. it can go from heaven to hell in just seconds." i disagree.

it will never be hell with you.kahit na ng-aaway na tyo, kahit na we're getting hurt, kahit na di tyo ngpapansinan, kahit na ngseselosan na tyo, kahit na npparanoid na tyo, kahit na...kahit na anong mangyari, it will ALWAYS be heaven with you.oo na, cheesy na...

lagi mo cnsbi skin "dont mind me".u dont understand.i CANT not mind u.pilitan ko man, hindi ko tlga kaya.dont ask me why, some things are hard to explain.some things cant be explained.i dont know why either.bsta that's just the way things are.

nallungkot ako kpag nllungkot ka, nssaktan ako kpag nssaktan ka, naiiyak ako kpg nppaiyak kta.gnon lng tlga.emotions...they may seem illogical at times, u may ask for explanations, question why, but u will never have a definite and concrete answer.its just the way things are.its just the way emotions, MY emotions play out.

im sorry.im really really sorry.i should have been more careful.pro sorry, i cant and wont lie to u.magalit ka na kng magagalit ka pro wla tlga akong balak mgsinungaling syo.ever.

i dont know wat to say or do to make u feel better.yes, i know, u have to deal w/ it on ur own.pro i just have to try.d ako mpakali e.alam ko tinutulog mo lng yan...and ur probably sleeping ryt now.i cant sleep properly knowing that something's happening to u and i cant even do anything...

it hurts to know i cant do anything, me, who caused all this.if i could just take back what i said, i would.if i could just switch lives w/ u at this moment pra im d one who would "feel like sh*t", i would.i'd do anything pra lng mging ok ka na.

im so sorry.i love u.

ACP Biak na Bato, Bulacan

we went "mountain" climbing, caving and rapelling yesterday.haha! :) sobrang nkakapagod.pro worth it dun sa 1100 na binayad namin.next year ult guys? haha!!!!subic na to!!!!

sobrang dming malaking higad and stuff.nkapunta kmi sa bat cave and it was soooo beautiful.as in pagnakta mo sbrang breathtaking.i was sort of speechless when i saw the cave kc grabe tlga.ang ganda.sbrang amazing what time and nature can do when left alone.btw, kinakain daw ang bats a.ung mga tao dun, they catch bats in the morning and afternoon for breakfast and dinner.ms healthy dw than pork.haha!

sobrang sayang wla ka dun yumi.ms masaya sana w/ u there.we missed u the whole trip.

*****

and you.sitting w/ you during the trip to and from biak na bato was the best part.haha.kht na prang my sriling mundo tyo dun and stuff.bsta...what happened during the trip, atin nlng un. ;) haha.sbrang saya ko i cant put it in words.words would mean nothing.

happy happy happy

dec 1...something's special about this day...haha!!! :D

just spent a whole day w/ u...im floating on a cloud.AGAIN!

grabe, khit na gano kstressful ang school, kpag ksma kta prang balewala lhat ng pgod and stuff.ang keso! :)

*****

its been a month since everything started.well, not really started....you know what i mean.haha.1 month...ang bilis.so much happened in 1 month.pero no regrets.

bsta im really really really happy.this is the happiest i've ever been my whole life.and its all because of you.thanx! :D