i dont usually do this, but what the hell..

Makinig ka sa paligid, wala kang maririnig.
Ang tanging tunog lamang, katahimikang nakabibingi.
Tumingin ka sa bawat sulok, wala kang makikita.
Ang tanging kulay lamang ay kulay ng agwa.

Sa kahong ito, nakaupo’t nag-iisa,
Lahat binibilang, bawat kindat, bawat hinga.
Tila may dragong sa likod mo’y kumokontra,
Sa tuwing may kalokohan, apoy sayo’y ibubuga.

Bawat salita, bawat pagtanong, kailangan may dahilan.
Hindi uubra ang mga pasaway na isipan.
Bawat galaw, bawat hakbang, dapat may pinatutunguhan.
Maraming nakakubling patakarang nararapat daw sundan.

Ang totoong sarili hindi man gustong itago,
Anong magagawa kung pamilya’t lipunan ang katalo?
Pero sa loob nitong kahong gawa sa semento,
May kakaunting pag-asa, hindi lahat naglalaho.

Ang nagmimistulang preso sa pang-araw-araw,
Nagbabago ang anyo sa kada pagdalaw.
Nawawala ang dragon, kapalit niya’y balangaw.
Natutunaw ang mga pader, nagiging ulap na maampaw.

Ang dating katahimikan, napupuno ng musika.
Ang dating walang buhay, nabibigyan ng sigla.
Ngunit sa lahat ng ito’y nagkakaroon ng panibagong problema,
Kasayahang nadarama, hindi lubos na maipaunawa.

Kahit anong pilit tila hindi mahawakan, hindi makamtan,
Mga salitang inaasahang magbibigay ng kakayahan,
Sa damdaming naiipit sa gitna ng takot at kagalakan.
Bagamat ganito, ninanamnam bawat pagkakataong ito’y nararanasan.

Sa likod ng mga hatol na maaaring ipataw sa akin,
Walang pagsisisihan, walang susubukang limutin.
Dahil ang dating kahong gawa lamang sa semento,
Sa piling mo lamang, nagiging munti kong paraiso.

joanna que

Joannaaaaa! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! kahit hindi na tayo nkkpgusap and ngkkta, u should know, ure still one of my most trusted friends. :) kc alam ko na kht gnun, pwedeng pwede prn kta kwentuhan and sabihan ng mga nngyyri sa buhay ko. hahaha. thanks for that. :) thanks rin kc alam kong nndyan ka lng kht anu mngyri. cos we're like that. :) miss na kitaaaa! bkt prng never nttuloy ung "planned" labas ntin? hahaha. :D 20 ka na rin. :) tama ba, 20? hahaha. joa, kahit hindi ko sbihin, alam kong alam mong mahal kita. :D haha.

unacceptable

naisip ko lng kanina, habang nghhugas ako ng mga empty bottles..



namimiss ko na magchem lab..

wait..

hindi to nangyayari. im gonna stay in bed. i'm sick.

think break

this one's from jera. im boooored. actually, d nmn bored. prng pagod na bored na ewan. i dont know what im feeling as of the moment so whatever.

1) Single, Taken, Naked, or Flirty
~*~ taken

2) Are you happy with that?
~*~ couldn't be happier

3) Would you still kiss your ex?
~*~ whattaquestion. no. eeew. haha peace.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
~*~ yeah.

5) Do you believe that there are
certain circumstances where cheating
is ok?
~*~ cheating is cheating no matter what the reason. may sense man ung dahilan or wala, mssaktan prn ung tao all the same. its never okay.

7) Have you ever talked about marriage
with another person?
~*~ havent we all? i talk about marriage with my friends even.

8) Do you want children?
~*~ yup

9) How Many?
~*~ 2

10.) Would you consider adoption?
~*~ if i cant have my own, why not? the world is practically overflowing with children waiting to be adopted.

11) If someone liked you right now,
would you want them to tell you?
~*~ no. it only takes 2 to be in a relationship and 2 to stay in one, not 3.

12) Do you want someone you can't have?
~*~ already have her. :D

13) Have you fallen in love?
~*~ definitely

14) Do you believe in celebrating
anniversaries?
~*~ it's a whole year. mtgal un no. if people celebrate monthsaries, then more so anniversaries dba?

15) Do you believe that you can change
for someone?
~*~ i probably can. depends though on what i have to change, what i think of that change (+/-) and who's asking me to change.

16.) Is it a good day?
~*~ yeah. :) it was pretty.. spontaneous. :) i love today. :) round trip. woohooo, im so proud of myself. :D

17) Have you ever broken a heart
before?
~*~ sad to say, yes.

18) Does your ex still have feelings
for you?
~*~ impossible.

19) Do you still have feelings for
them?
~*~ nope.

One Word - Elliot Yamin

I'm so into what you giving and it feel so good to me
You're beautiful and critical it's hard to live without you, baby
When I wake up in the morning all I want to see is you
Heaven's blessing that he sent me unconditional and true
Girl you mean the world to me and I hope you understand
I will give you anything and I'll do the best I can to make you see what I see

One word
Is all I need to say exactly how I feel
One word
A single word that's from the heart and keep sit real
One word
And baby I know this one fits you to a tee
One word
All I can say is amazing

Always there when i was going through all kinds of changes
You kept me lifted, said I'm gifted and you know I'm gonna make it
So when you're tired and frustrated you can always count on me
Girl I love ya and I want ya to know I'll be all you need
Girl you gave the world to me and you made me understand
You would give me anything and you do the best you can
You are what I hope to be

One word
Is all I need to say exactly how I feel
One word
A single word that's from the heart and keeps it real
One word
And baby I know this one fits you to a tee
One word
All I can say is amazing

One Word
I just want to celebrate yo, baby
And thank the Lord for sending you down to me
And your love is the reason why I believe
You're amazing
So amazing
Just amazing to me

All I can say is amazing

One word
Is all I need to say exactly how I feel
One word
A single word that's from the heart and keeps it real
One word
And baby I know this one fits you to a tee
One word
All I can say is amazing

*****
sabi nga nila, wlang kwenta mghighlight kung lahat naman ihhighlight mo. :)

mariel，我爱你.

where psych meets philo

the more you know, the more you doubt.

the more you doubt, the more you fear.

the more you fear, the more you paralyze yourself.

but..

the less you know, the more you trust.

the more you trust, the more vulnerable you get.

the more vulnerable you get, the more you get hurt.

so..

what now?

Things I Have Lived Through

freindster surveys

Put numbers instead of x's (1, 2, 3, 4...).

[1] I have read a lot of books.
[ ] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[2] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping. - walk and run. walk and run.
[3] I have been to Canada.
[ ] I have been to Europe.
[4] I have watched cartoons for hours. (masaya mnood ng cartoons. promise.)
[5] I have tripped UP the stairs. (i suddenly feel so stupid)
[6] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs. (now i feel stupider. eh, stupider??? )
[ ] I have been snowboarding/skiing.
[7] I have played ping pong.
[8] I swam in the ocean.
[9] I have been on a whale/dolhpin watch. (dolphins. :) wlang whales e.)
[10] I have seen fireworks.
[11] I have seen a shooting star.
[ ] I have seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I have almost drowned.
[12] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear. (normal na to sa buhay ko)
[13] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again.
[ ] I have had stitches.
[ ] I have had frostbite.
[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[14] I have stayed up til 2 (and beyond) doing homework/projects. (aaah, prng ung sa topic proposal lng sa expe?)
[ ] I have been ice skating.
[15] I have been rollerblading.
[ ] I have fallen flat on my face.
[16] I have tripped over my own two feet. (clumseh)
[ ] I have been in a fist fight.
[17] I have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight.
[18] I have watched the Power Rangers.
[19] I attend Church regularly.
[20] I have played truth or dare. (pahamak na truth or dare na yan)
[21] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[22] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[23] I've called someone stupid. (mean. :P)
[24] I've been in a verbal argument.
[25] I've cried in school.
[ ] I've played basketball on a team.
[ ] I've played baseball on a team.
[ ] I've played football on a team.
[ ] I've played soccer on a team.
[ ] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[ ] I've played softball on a team.
[26] I've played volleyball on a team. (ung interclass thing nung grade 7)
[ ] I've played tennis on a team.
[ ] I've been on a track or cross country team.
[27] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[ ] I've bungee jumped. (who wants to go bungee jumping with me? :D)
[ ] I've climbed a rock wall. (gusto ko rin to gawin. samahan niyo ko. :D )
[28] I've lost more than $20. (Or Php1000.)
[29] I've called myself an idiot.
[30] I've called someone else an idiot. (pro pjoke lng. :P )
[31] I've cried myself to sleep.
[32] I've had pets.
[33] I've owned a Spice Girls CD/cassette. (gradeschool. grar. hahaha.)
[34] I've owned a Britney Spears CD. (ito ung mga days na tlgang simple pa ang buhay)
[ ] I've owned an N*Sync CD.
[35] I've owned a Backstreet Boys CD. (cos all u had to think of were friends, hw and girl/boy bands)
[ ] I've mooned someone. (eh? anong "mooned"???)
[ ] I have sworn/yelled at someone of authority before.
[ ] I've been in the newspaper.
[ ] I've been on TV.
[ ] I've been to Hawaii.
[36] I've eaten sushi.
[37] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[38] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[39] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[ ] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.
[40] I've watched the 3 stooges.
[ ] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[41] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[ ] I've been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers. (hindi nmn gnun klki ang mga locker sa ica. or sa ateneo. :P
[42] I've been called a geek. (oo. ni mariel. :P haha.)
[43] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade. (hindi ba lagi nman? :P)
[44] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it. (d nmn aced. pwedeng "beed"? kc B+ grade ko e. hahaha. bowtany.)
[ ] I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs.
[ ] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[45] I've met a celebrity/music artist.
[46] I've written poetry. (that noones ever seen. and noones will ever see. harhar.)
[ ] I've been arrested.
[47] I've been attracted to someone much older than me.
[48] I've been tickled till I've cried.
[49] I've tickled someone else until they cried. (gantihan lng. :D)
[50] I've had/have siblings.
[51] I've been to a rock concert.
[52] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[53] I've been in a play. (i miss pol pot.)
[ ] I've been picked last in gym class.
[54] I've been picked first in gym class.
[55] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
[56] I've cried in front of my friends.
[57] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[ ] I've played Halo 2.
[58] I've freaked out over a sports game.
[ ] I've been to Alaska.
[ ] I've been to China.
[ ] I've been to Spain. (i wanna go to spain.. :(
[59] I've been to Japan.
[60] I've had a fight with someone on AIM/MSN. (sa ym :P )
[61] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[62] I've had serious conversations on any IM.
[63] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
[64] I've been forgiven.
[ ] I've screamed at a scary movie. (hindi ako nttkot sa mga scary movie.)
[65] I've cried at a chick flick. (ehe. :D )
[66] I've watched a lot of action movies. (dndrag lng ako ng dad ko and ng mga kptid ko)
[67] I've screamed at the top of my lungs.
[ ] I've been to a rap concert.
[ ] I've been to a hip hop concert.
[ ] I've lived in more than 2 houses.
[68] I've driven on the highway/been on the highway. (those who know me, know na hanggang "been" lng ako. so, whats new?)
[69] I've driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 40 miles in a day. (again, "been")
[70] I've been in a car accident.
[71] I've done drugs. (drugs nman ang medicine ah. :D )
[72] I've been homesick.
[73] I've thrown up. (tawa nlng.)
[ ] I've puked on someone.
[74] I've gone horseback riding.
[75] I've filled out more than 10 MySpace/LJ surveys. (yan nmn ang gawain kpg bored e)
[76] I've spoken my mind in public.
[77] I've proven someone wrong.
[78] I've been proven wrong by someone.
[ ] I've broken a leg.
[79] I've broken an arm. (wrist?)
[80] I've fallen off a swing.
[81] I've swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight. (thinking/serious talk moments)
[82] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies.
[83] I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school. (absent-mindedness.)
[ ] I've lost my backpack.
[84] I've come close to dying.
[ ] I've seen someone die.
[85] I've known someone who has died.
[ ] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.
[ ] I've done modeling. (dti, when i had long hair nung hs, may ngttnong skn kung gs2 ko mgshoot for a shampoo commercial. tpos snbihan ko na "magpapagupit na ko e. ppnta kc akong parlor ngyon." hahaha.)
[86] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.
[87] I've taken something/someone for granted.
[88] I've realized how good my life is.
[89] I've counted my blessings.
[90] I've made fun of a classmate. (and she made fun of herself too. kaya masaya. :D )
[91] I've been asked out by someone and I said no.
[92] I've slapped someone in the face. (hindi ko to sure.. oo ata. pinilit ako kc msyado syang nguilty.)
[93] I've been skateboarding. (and i ended up with a wound on the knee. good job.)
[94] I've been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend. (cos life's like that.)
[95] I've lied to someone to their face.
[96] I've told a little white lie.
[ ] I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane.
[ ] I've fainted. (anu feeling? :P hahaha.)
[ ] I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
[97] I've pushed someone into a pool.
[98] I've been pushed into a pool.
[99] I've been/am in love =) (yehes. :D)

6:58 am

it's 6:58 am and i haven't slept yet. and i still haven't finished this topic proposal.

nfeel ko nmn na napaka incompetent kong studyante. haha.

naiinis ako. grar.

pero hindi dahil sa topic proposal.

Name Game

ayoko na gumawa ng topic proposal. nffry ung neurons ko. anyway.. naaliw ako sa post ni Nat. :D galing to sknya. :)

Post your nicknames and give the name of the person who calls you by that name and the story behind it.

Joy - everyone calls me this. probably because it's my 1st name. :D

Cheryl - most cousins and aunties and uncles. sila ung mga ever since kid ako, yan na twag skn hanggang ngyon. pro kng hindi ko kyo relatives, hindi ko kyo ppansinin kpg tinawag nyo ko nito. kc hindi ako snay at ayoko.

Che - my mom calls me this. kc 2nd name ko cheryl. siya lang tumatawag skn nyan and her 2 younder sisters. si sa-i and si si-i. :)

Shobe/Ditchie - cguro nmn understood na na mga kptid ko tmtwag skn nyan.

Shobe ni Jan - twag skn ng mga kaibigan ni atchie. from her hs friends to her college friends, yan twag skn. except ung mga hs friends nya and some of her college friends, kaibigan ko na rin kya joy na twag nila skn. :P pro ung mga kaibigan nya na hindi ko nkakausap, yan prn. :P

Shobs - kpg feeling cool c mama, yan gngmit nya. and ung ibang kaibigan din ni atchie, yan gmit.

Joyjoy - ang tumatawag lng skn nito, c kristine, c marj and c mariel. haha. ewan ko bkt. feel lng nila doblehin ung pangalan ko so they can have two of me. weeeeh. hahaha.

Joya - c ana o. lng tumatawag skn nyan. since gradeschool up to now. ngstart yan kc ngllokohan kmi about something. i forgot what. bsta grade 6 pa un. haha. it just kind of stuck i guess.

Ligaya - only 4 people can call me this. enzo and his brother, mike. jimbo and grace. :D trip lng kc nila ako lokohin one time. tpos i sort of got used to it. pro hindi nmn nila ako tntwag nyan all the time. mnsan lng, kpg ntripan nila akong lokohin ulit.

Joyita - *shudder* c mariel lng pwede tumawag skn nyan. kc ako nmn pasimuno nyan e nung tinawag ko syang marielita. hahaha. nfeel nyang gantihan ako. kaya ayan. at isa pa, ang pangit lng tlga pakinggan e. :P

Ate Joy - ito ang twag skn ng fccy kids. :) and ni angeline, ung ngbbenta ng sampaguita sa mtq. yan din twag skn ng ANI kids. pti sa tugon. :) and ung ibang fc people, ngffeeling bata kaya mnsan tntwag nla ako nyan. si gino, kht na mas mtanda sya skn, feel na feel nya tlgang nde kaya yan tawag nya skn.

Melinda - hindi ko tlga makakalimutan to. kasi si Paul Mayuyu, hindi kami mgkakilala dti. ngmtg kmi para sa ANI Crystal Maze. tpos ngone round kmi ng pangalan. To think na ako ung katabi nya, hindi nya naalala na joy ang pangalan ko. at ewan ko san nya npulot ang melinda. mukha ba akong melinda??? at ngyon, kht na alam nyang joy ang pangalan ko (or bka hindi nya prn alam, inakala ko lng na alam na nya), melinda pa rin ang twag nya skn.

Clown - c kristine ongsiyping lng tmtwag skn nito. kasi, kami lng ngkakaintindihan pgdting dito. :D haha. :P

Happy - sassy guerrero! hahaha. nagsimula to nung isa sa mga regcom days. :D tpos naimbento tong pangalan na to kc nkaupo kmi sa may soc sci foyer. joke time nmn kc lgi kpg mgkausap kmi ni sassy (pro nguusap rin kmi ng seryoso, may tawanan nga lng din). at dhil joy ang pangalan ko, ayan. ayan ang kinalabasan. sassy_happy, mgpkita ka nmn. nmmiss na kta.

Kapatid - c sassy lng tmtwag skn nyan. kc regcom twin ko un. kya ayun.

Sis - c jeanine, kc long lost sister ko raw sya kya sis. :) kc chua kmi preho at lgi kming nppgkamalang magkapatid sa nstp. :) sis, kng nbbasa mo to, miss na kta. :D

Joyce - twag to skn ng mga hindi ako kilala tlga. sa mga hindi pa nkakaalam, hindi plural ang pangalan ko. singular. joy lng. hindi joyce, joy.

Li Mae - galing sa chinese name ko. c shara lng tumatawag skn nito kpg bnbgyan nya ko ng "sermon". ganito pa nga un e.. "hay nako, li mae tlga" haha. and ung mga chinese teacher sa school syempre. :P

Elephant - c mariel lng din pwede tumawag skn nito. kc one time, nanonood ako ng animal planet tpos may mga baby na elephant. tppos sbi ko sknya gs2 ko ng gnun kc ang cute nila. tpos ayun. :) c mariel, hippo. kaya ba hippo kc gusto mo rin ng baby hippo? weh. hahaha. :P

Bungisngis - c cher bads and c cher peachy lng tmtwag skn nyan. kc lgi dw ako tawa ng tawa. nixon, balik nga tyong quality one time. :) nndun pa ba sila?

i have loads of other names. pro tmad na ako ilagay. at ung iba, ayoko na ipaalam. hahaha.

topic proposal na ulit.

anxiety

hyaan na.

hinga lng ng malalim.

balik na sa cog psy.

text message

Love isn't when you can't sleep, it's when you want to keep your eyes open.
Love isn't when you keep holding on, it's when you learn to let go of the pain it brought you.
Love isn't when you kill yourself with jealousy, it's when you understand.
Love isn't when you fall for someone, it's when you catch that person when he falls.
Love isn't when you see him everywhere, it's when you close your eyes and he's still there.
Love isn't when you tell him of feelings, it's when you give up everything for his sake.
Love isn't when you think you were blind, it's when you know you're wrong but just didn't mind.

*****
so.. ano masasabi niyo dyan?

height of boredom

1.anung kwento ng pangalan mo?
para sa mga hindi pa nakakaalam, joy ang pangalan ko a. haha. when i was a kid at tinanong ko, sbi skn, kc hindi dw ako umiiyak nung pinanganak ako. tumatawa daw ako. at dhil utu-uto ako noon.. hahaha. pro ngyon na alam kong impossible un.. ito nlng. lahat kaming mgkakapatid, 3 letters ung 1st name. jan, jed, joy jus. o dba? :)

2. anung kwento ng parents mo?
ang alam ko, 7 yrs naging sila before they got married. they were each other's firsts.

3. anung kwento nung 7th bday mo?
ewan ko. haha. childhood amnesia. weh. haha. bsta d ko maalala. :P

4. anung kwento last bday mo?
binigyan ako ng carnations. :) kumain sa eastwood w/ some blockmates and watched a movie.

5. anung kwento ng 1st lovelife mo?
at syempre, may ganitong tanong. haha. sige. you meet someone, you fall inlove, someone leaves, you both move on. hahaha. a (typical) love story.

7. anung kwento ng cellphone mo?
got it on my 18th bday. bigay ni ama. sa buong buhay ko, pangalawang cellphone ko plng sya. kung hindi ako binigyan ng new phone, cguro, 3310 prin cell ko. :P hahaha. hindi ako mahilig magpabili ng bgong cell e.

8. anung kwento ng computer mo?
hindi akin to. sa ahia ko. sknya mo tanungin kung anong kwento nito.

9. anung kwento ng kwarto mo?
its blue. light blue. with light blue curtains. and light blue cabinets. and a light blue table. my mom's a frustrated interior designer. haha.

10. anung kwento mo last christmas?
christmas 06. it was both an end and a start. haha. looking forward to christmas 07. :) and the following christmases after that.

11. anung kwento mo last valentine's day?
knna christmas ngyon valentines. date ko little brother ko. pro hindi nya alam. at kung malaman nya, cguradong hindi sya papayag. kya quiet lng kyo. :)

12. anung kwento ng sapatos na suot mo ngayon?
im wearing slippers now. pambahay. :P bigay ni yaya dati. :)

13. anung kwento nung una mong nakita yung
crush mo?
meron pla akong crush? :P haha. wlang storya dito. never rememebered having a crush on anyone.

14. anung kwento sayo ng nanay mo tungkol kay
santa?

wala. bsta sya si santa clause. at kung wala kayong chimney (pansinin nyo, wlang chimney sa pilipinas. i mean, mron nmn cguro pro super konti lng. so san ddaan si santa clause??), sbi ng mom ko, may mgaappear magically kpg dumating si santa. nung tinanong ko kng panu sya ngkakasya sa chimney, sbi skn, pumapayat dw sya, tpos tataba ulit kpg nsa loob na ng bahay.

15. anung kwento tungkol sa inyo ng bestfriend
mo?
kkwento ko nlng c shara. since sya ung closest ko at may alam ng lhat tungkol sa buhay ko. kaya shara, promoted ka na sa buhay ko. alam ko mtgal mo nang hinihingi un. haha joke! >:D< back in grade 3, d pa kmi mgkakilala. ksma ko si sophia, my other friend tpos pgbalik sa classroom, nkta ni sophia si shara na nkaupo sa seat nya. 1st day of classes kc so wla pangs eatplan tlga. tpos sbi ni sophia sknya "seat ko yan". dont know what happened after bsta we became really really good friends. theme song nmin: "together again.." dont know the title. bsta ngaway kmi tpos pinagbati pa kmi ng class sa harap during guidance period. (kids!) tpos kinanta un ng guidance teacher nmin. haha.

16. anung kwento nung last movie na pinanood
mo?
surviving christmas? basically about a guy who wants to relive his childhood christmas memories in the house he grew up in. Pro he found out na may nakatira na dun so he payed them to be his family for christmas. then he screwed everything up. ending: he fell inlove w/ the daughter of his rented family and eventually became a part of that family for real.

17. anung kwento tungkol sa huling lugar na
pinuntahan mo?
promenade? ewan. bsta bgla nlng may tumubong building across theater mall.

18. anung kwento nung last time na umiyak ka?
hindi ako umiiyak. hahaha.

19. anung kwento ng greatest achievement mo
so far?
.. erm.. wala pa akong mkkwento. tanungin nyo nlng ako after a few more years. hopefully may mkwento na ko. haha.

20. anung kwento nung huling librong binasa mo?
Bob Ong's Macarthur. i liked his other books better. this one was dry. or maybe its just because binasa ko lng sya kc i didnt have time to read and i wanted so badly to read something and it was short. really short. ayoko na ng mindless reading. pro ayoko na rin ng educational reading.

nothing to do

i have nothing to do. im just too lazy to do anything actually..

1) Who is the last person you high-fived?
i dont high five people.. meron pa bang nghhigh five ngyon?

2) If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
umm.. ung mga nurse sa war?

3) Do you sleep with the tv on?
no. sayang kaya ng kuryente.

4) Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
nope.. coz i dont drink milk. hahaha. :P sometimes i do. rarely actually. :P

5) Have you ever won a spelling bee?
never even joined one.

6) Have you ever been stung by a bee?
nope. kahit sa ica ang dami daming bee lagi. tapos kpag gabi, may bats pa. ewan ko bkit. :P

7) How fast can you type?
fast. :D i can type fast even with one hand. (yabang lng o) hahaha. dati kc sa comp lab, nung gradeschool, nung diskette pa ang gamit at ung mga diskette na malaki.. anu twag dun? bsta yun, may prng "game" sa computer tpos may words na bumababa sa screen tpos kelangan mo itype. if you type them correctly, mwwala sila, if nde tpos umabot sa baba ng screen masisira ung "wall" mo. bsta gnun. hahaha. loser.

8) Are you afraid of the dark?
nope. sa ipis. ehe. =S

9) Eye color?
cnu ung ngsbi skn na wla naman daw tlgang eye color na black? kng wala tlga, cguro dark dark dark dark brown.

10) Do you knock on wood?
.. erm.. i actually dont know. hahaha. do i? i know i used to. pro ngyon d ko alam kng oo. in the future, noones gonna do this anymore. dhl wla ng wood, puro plastic na lht. kaya kung gs2 nyo pang mkpag knock on wood, save the environment. :P

11) Are you drinking anything right now?
nope.

12) Can you jump rope?
yup. hahaha.

13) What do you want for Christmas?
can't have it anyway. :) so might as well just keep it to myself.

14) Do you know the Muffin Man?
am i supposed to know him? :P

15) Who is your best friend?
myself? :) haha joke. i have really close friends. but no best friend. :) but if i have to name one, it would be shara.

16) Have you ever flown a kite?
yeah. :) when i was a kid. hahaha. once lng. tpos d ko na mgwa ulit. haha.

17) Do you consider yourself successful?
ako? HAHAHA. no.

18) How many people are on your contact list of your cell?
289. haha. syempre tiningnan ko pa. :P pero ung iba nmn dun, landline. tpos ung ibang tao, mdming number.

19) Have you ever asked for a pony?
nope. i remember asking for a unicorn. :P leave it to me to give my parents a hard time playing santa clause.

20) Plans for tomorrow?
nothing. bum around. talk to people. think. pretend i actually thought of something. miss someone. pick on teddy if im desperate.

21) Can you juggle?
nope. i wanna learn. who wants to teach me? hahaha. :D

22) Missing someone now?
absolutely. grar.

23) When was the last time you told someone I Love You?
hours ago..

24) And truly meant it?
hours ago. umm.. anu naman iniimply mo?! hahaha nagalit? hahaha.

25) How often do you drink alcohol?
rarely. :)

26) How do you feel today?
crappy.

27) Are you black?
what a racist question. eh kung sabihin kong blue ako? anu ngyon?

28) Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
alam ko naman na patapon ako.. pero sobra naman yan, d naman ako ganyan ka patapon.

29) What are you looking forward to?
daily? talking to someone. simple joy ko un e, may surge ng endorphins. haha. :) kung mas long-term, august 26. kung mas long-term pa, after 3 yrs. kung hindi ka pa kontento dyan, forever. weeeeeh. kesooo.

30) Have you ever crawled through a window?
teka.. iniisip ko.. hindi pa ata. hahaha.

31) Have you ever eaten dog food?
nope. cat food. :D haha joke. :P i prefer to stick to people food. cguro mabubuhay na ko dun kc tao nmn ako e. haha.

32) Can you handle the truth?
all the time. so just give it to me straight.

33) Do you like green eggs and ham?
yuuuuuup!!! i want the book. :( but i can't find it. grar. i want a lot of children's books na hindi ko mahanap. graaar. hahaha. oo na, pathetic. and no, hindi to 2nd childhood.

34). What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?
leftovers, eggs and veggies.

35) Any cool scars?
wala ata e. d naman ata lht ng scars cool dba? :P

36) Are you feeling good today?
kakasabi lng nga kaninang i feel crappy e.

37) Do you like or have a crush on anyone?
i have a crush.. who's nonexistent. :) i used to like someone. but i had to give way to love. weh. anu daw? hahaha.

38) How many kids do you plan on having?
i want 2. :D

39) Have you ever been in love?
yup. :)

40) Do you talk to yourself?
yup. when im alone and im sure noone can hear me, i talk to myself out loud. prng mas mdling intindihin ang mga bagay kpg naririnig mo tlga e. hahaha.

41) Do you like dancing?
okay lng. the bathroom is my dance floor. :P hahaha. sometimes, my room when the door's locked and noone's around. :D

42) Three of your favorite foods:
caldereta but i like it most if its spicy, sinigang, okra :) wheeee. yummy. :)

43) Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
eyes, hair, smile

44) Who are you thinking about right now?
someone currently dreaming about me in vegas. harhar. KAPAL. haha. pero d nga, uwi na dito. tama na shopping. :P wala ka na rin namang space sa bhay mo for everything you're buying.

45) Who did you last talk to on the phone?
c caresse. haha. :D kausap ko sya sa phone. at kym ko rin sya at the same tym. o dba, ayos?

46) Where is your phone?
house phone or cellphone? actually, prho lng pla silang nsa tabi ko. :P

47) What was the last thing you ate?
nuggets. hindi galing mcdo. galing purefoods. hahaha. :D ngutom ako e.

48) What are your favorite colors?
color lng. yellow. :D

49) What is the last movie watched?:
last movie.. sa theater, ouija. na hindi ko natapos kc ung kasama ko, natakot na msydo. to think na sya ung ngyayang manood nun. *ahem*sino kaya un?*ahem* sa dvd, surviving christmas. :P hahaha. nakita ko kc e tpos nfeel ko lng noodin ulit.

50) What song are you currently listening to?:
what am i to you - norah jones

51) Are you currently suffering from a broken heart?
nope. :) my lawyer's a doctor. a good one too. :D

52) Would you ever leave the one you love for the one you like?
the one i like can never compare to the one i love. if the one you like makes you feel so much more than the one you love, then maybe you got it all wrong.

53) What are you going to do now?
maliligo after nito. ehe. :P

54) Who do you know will repost this??
i don't know. i just got this from my bulletin board in friendster.

55) Do you think people really read these?
some do. out of boredom. :P sometimes i read surveys just because i want to know the answers. pero depende kung sino ung sumagot. :P

56) Can you fall in love through the internet?
the internet can only do so much. why not? it brings people together across great distances but nothing compares to actually getting to know the person and falling in love with him/her, in person.

57) Do you prefer plastic or paper?
paper. :)

58) Do you think you should get paid for filling out surveys?
id rather get paid saving lives. but while im working at it, it wont do any harm. now.. who wants to pay me? :D anyone?

Love After Love

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

And say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was yourself.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Derek Walcott

*sigh*

and yet sometimes i feel I could wish all that, and have them come true, but it still wouldn't be enough.

mbto

i was talking to you a while ago and i honestly didn't know what to say. hindi ko alam kung may dapat ba akong sabihin.

"you treat me like trash" -> panalo. its been years. signature line na yan. stupidity. haha joke.

i know we often joke about it. since we were in highschool.. until now. prng hindi na un nawala sa pagkakaibigan natin. but you know, though he wasn't all that and though we both thought a while ago that he was a waste of time. right now, i dont think he was anymore.

this one. this ONE. how would you know he was it. if it wasnt for that ass (don't push it, he's still an ass coz of what he did). he took a ot. you know how they say you only have one great love? that after that one, you will never love the same way again? the ass wasnt it, though you probably believe he was. he was never it. cheesy as it may sound, in your words, "binuhay niya lahat ng pinatay ni *toot* skn". we all waited for it to happen. everyone waited for you to snap out of it. and he was all it took.

things happen, i know. you know. im sure he knows it as well. everyone knows. there's nothing to do but to accept it.

i cant deny that you have disappointed me a lot of tyms. and i know i have done the same to you. but for all the years ive known you, for every time you disappoint the people around you, you've never failed to make big comebacks.

so friend, maybe life is not about second chances. maybe it's about the third. go for it. you deserve this. she will understand. and if she dsnt, you know you're always welcome at my house. haha kidding. :)

you know i'll always have your back. ill vouch for you. :) i love you. :D

io break

i just realized yesterday that my life now's just a shadow of what it was before. i dont wanna go into details or backtrack on how it became like this. i just think i need to do something about it before my life is reduced to nothing. so..

1. go to mass REGULARLY. even its not an fc mass.
2. save money NOW. then save lives LATER.
3. dream BIG. (see 2nd sentence in number 2)
4. actually go back to mc practices and fccy. MEET and GET TO KNOW the NEW MEMBERS.
5. UPDATE myself with my highschool friends. (nixie at shara, ituloy na ntin ang lbas nting hindi matuloy tuloy. :D yeeeey. )
6. study FOR REAL.

nffeel ko na ang worthlessness ng buhay ko.

oh well. back to io.

mr. sandman, where are you?

Don't Go Far Off

Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --

because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long

and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station

when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because

then the little drops of anguish will all run together,

the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift

into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;

may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.

Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

because in that moment you'll have gone so far

I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,

Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

Pablo Neruda

*****

lonely. bothered. in distress.

thinking when you can't sleep (can) IS be dangerous.

i hate uncertainty. i hate not knowing.

what is it?

comic relief

this is how your cursor moves. :)

http://www.1-click.jp/

so funny. hahahaha.

erasing

how do you erase something from your "vocabulary"?

or better yet from your memory? if you dont remember something, then you wont be able to speak of it right? so how? how? how???

its impossible.

patience. i can be patient. i am patient.

anu ulit un? oh, yes. truly loving is loving even when the loving feeling is absent. it is not effortless. salvation.

little ball of ham, you and i are in some ways so alike.. i need to talk to you. like you have done so many times with me, catharsis.

to you, i have nothing to say to you that you dont already know. but nevertheless..
1. stop thinking too much. just take everything i have to give.
2. mahal kita. ikaw. hindi siya, hindi sila. ikaw lang. is that so hard to understand?

inuman na

dati pa to sinabi ni sir. but since he mentioned it again..

you drink -> get drunk -> feel sleepy -> fall asleep -> cannot sin -> go to heaven

so let's all drink and go to heaven. :)

sir and his joke times. i love it.

ang cute pa nya. he's like the pilsbury doughboy. :D harhar.

Everything - Michael Buble

You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to see.

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.
When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my
everyday.
And I can't believe, that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing
You're every line, you're every word,
you're everything.

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

sulking

grar.

graaaar.

GRAAAAAAAAAAR.







yan ang sound ng dinosaur. nililibang lang ang sarili.. grar..

We Bleed Blue

from james. :)

Place an X inside the box if it applies to you.

[X] Bought something from the A Shop
[X] Got an A for at least one subject
[X] Understood the definition of "HELL" week
[X] and regretted finding out what it meant
[X] Has taken/ Currently taking PE 101


[X] Crammed three papers in one night... [crammers kmi e. hahaha.]
[X] Gave a class presentation that you now regret
[X] Know at least one photocopy lady because of professors who loved Xerox machines
[X] Got an F in a long test. [so, whats new? :P ]
[X] Promised to do better but didn't in general


[X] Exerted effort to be exempted sa finals.
[X] Striven for bonus points
[X] Slept in the library [hndi lng libro at internet use ang bnbayaran sa lib. pti aircon. might as well use it. :) ]
[X] Ate lunch outside the caf
[ ] Get a Jesuit for a teacher oh no.


[X] Ate in at least 10 establishments in Katipunan [mcdo, greenwich, jollibee, wok dis way, sr thai, yellow cab, flaming wings, shakeys, pizza hut, starbucks, seattles, t-boy, chicken bacolod, gayuma - katipunan pa ba to?, cantina,
[ ]Got an attack from Higad [almost pro nde. c samboy. :) twice pa ata.]
[X]Watched BlueRep and TA plays [joboy!]
[X] Preferred Manang's food over the Caf's [who doesn't?]
[X] Screamed your lungs out in Araneta for the Blue Eagles


[ ] Puked at Math 19, 20 [hanggang ma 11 and 12 lng kmi e. :) ]
[ ] Went to CERSA night
[X] Signed-up for an Org
[X] Joined an org that has a screening
[X] Became active in that org


[X] Joined a socially oriented org
[X] Played cards during long breaks freshmen year [d lng freshmen e. sophomore yr dn. 3rd yr d na msydo kc.. knain na ni kate lht ng cards nmin. ooooy, laro tyo ulit. :) ]
[X] Found immersion trips meaningful
[X] Went to school in flip-flops [all the time]
[X] Went to school in "pambahay attire"


[X] Went to school wearing chucks
[X] Hated your random number [cno ulit ung onwards?]
[X] Been to Drew's [sumama lng knla kate hahaha]
[X] Have an organizer, whether it be from Starbucks, Go Nuts, Belle de Jour or whatever! [national? hahaha.]
[x] Went to class without showering after P.E [walang time mgshower]


[X] Wanted to tell the guards to F*ck off [grabe. minsan lng tlga e..]
[X] had accidentally seen a make-out session [sa kostka :) mron dn sa zen dti, kpg gbi. harhar. sa mcdo katipunan.. NYAHAHA. kate, naalala mo un?]
[X] Used consultation times properly [hindi ka nmn ppansinin ng prof kng hindi ka dumating sa consultation time nya no]
[X] Brought an umbrella but it didn't rain [tpos nung wla akong payong, umulan ng malakas. saya!]
[X] Left an umbrella and then it rained the other day [sanay na ko sa gnyan. ksma na yan ng pagiging estudyante]


[ ] Went to school trying to make porma but no one noticed [d ako mahilig pumorma :P]
[X] Went to school looking crappy and everyone noticed [back in 1st yr, sbi nla, kpg pmpsok dw ako, prng napakabangag ko. w/c is true most of the tym :) ]
[X] Camwhored a lot [kpg c kate ksma.. oo.]
[X] Saw artistas and completely ignored them [i see them all the time. and i ignore them ALL THE TIME.]
[X] Spoke in a conyo way [yeah. kpg nglolokohan kmi. hahaha.]


[X] Found a Chinese girl/boy hot
[X] Nagulat sa lumulubog na block [muntik pa nga ako mdapa dhl ngulat ako e. haha.]
[X] Had a block party
[X] Cut class to watch a movie with blockmates [wheeee. ckwl :) ]
[X] Have at least 25 Ateneans on your Ym list


[ ] Became an FFL (Fucking freeloader!)
[X] Traded dvds of American tv shows with your friends [not really traded. kc bnbalik nmn.]
[ ] Went to Ewood for nothing [d pa ata e..]
[ ] Wore aviator glasses in Ateneo
[X] Ate in class


[X] Became EMO for no apparent reason in school [HAHAHA.]
[X] Thought friendster is a bust and multiply is SOOO much better
[X] Voted in the Sanggu elections vote abstain [dont u vote 4 abstain at least once???]
[X] Read the Guidon and Matanglawin thoroughly
[X] Tried to avoid the guards because you left your oh-so-precious id [madali lng nmn cla iavoid no. lgay ka lng ng id strap kht wlang nkdikit na id e. tpos, hug ur book/filecase/bag pra d kita na wlang nkdikit na id. okay ka na. :) ]


[X] Engaged in deep-thinking while in Ateneo gardens such as Zen and SOM walkway
[X] Bought coffee from Figaro
[X] Nakapaghang-out sa isang MVP room
[ ] Became an official YouTube addict while waiting for class
[X] Knew why Jesuit education is priceless [it is??? hahaha kidding]


[X] Learned a lot about life due to your Philosophy and Theology subjects [yes, of course. theo at philo.. hay.]
[X] Went to Ateneo even if you had no class
[X] Knew at least 7 famous Ateneo Alumni
[X] Laughed at Tapdancers
[X] Ran out of ink due to numerous papers you had to pass [minsan kc hindi lng paper ko ung pnprint ko e. :) haha. pro ok lng nmn. mahal ko nmn ung mga ngppprint skn kya ok lng.]


[X] Maximized the use of your flash drive
[X] Celebrated diversity in the Ateneo
[X] Kept OrSem memories [banana!]
[X] Watched a movie with fellow Ateneans that aren't from your block [oo naman.]
[ ] Has the hots for a fellow Atenean.


Worth 3 points each:
[ ] Attended simbang gabi at Gesu [almost went though]
[ ] REGed2Vote
[X] Screamed in Araneta for the Blue Eagles
[X] Know at least 3 Ateneo cheers
[ ] Memorized and sung A Song for Mary whole-heartedly [malapit na. konti nlng. ilang games nlng, mamememorize ko na.]
[X] Got to be on the Dean's list for at least a semester [wooohooo. tsamba. :)]
[X] Prayed to St. Ignatius of Loyola


Worth 5 points:
[X] Called yourself an Atenean


82


A= 92-100
B+= 86-91
B= 77-85
C+= 69-76
C= 60-68
D= 50-59
F= 49 and below

kmsta nmn na B lng ako? hahahaha.